White coat. Heels.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize