i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
