i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
