This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
