Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
