Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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