Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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