All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
