party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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