they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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