the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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