I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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