you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
