I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
