Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize
