I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
