I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
