i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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