problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
