batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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