My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The air taste purple.
Randomize
