All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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