If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
