Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
