Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
