If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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