you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
