Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
