She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
