your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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