Duck Duck Cougar?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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