I molested 6 butterflies tonight
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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