Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
