ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Bring me that man meat
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
