Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
