I would go down on you faster than GM stock
do herpes really smell.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
