At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
