Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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