people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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