**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
