she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
