the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
