stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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