he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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