I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Holy shit dude........stairs
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
