Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
