so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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