i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
