I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
