I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
