dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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