____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize