I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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